~ Last week ~

Sorry for not updating this blog for quiet a time oredi coz my head is full of lots of things that made me go crazy.Well yesterday I was stalking huhu and I stumbled upon one beautiful lady which post the Nadia (Forgot the song name but remember its lyrics huhu)song.I loved her song so much ..I first heard about the song when I was in standard 4..Nadia was famous at that time huhu..and how daja vu it was only a few days back when I asked my colleagues bout this song and they gave me the title and it brought back the memories and its lyric clicks with the thing that has happened to me since the end of December 09..haha

And to my surprise..this lady also put this song on her FB page.Back in the times when we were together,the element of togetherness and our 6th sense always worked wonders..we always SMS'ed at the same time where each one of us are typing,listen to the same old song always managed to read the heart of our partner..(if you want me to explain..xhabis cerita nnt huhu)but now,even though the moments are left behind after 2 and a half months..the sense that we share are not dead,heart beats though its clouded..guess I'll have to bear this and yet hope for the sunshine to  and the roses return in full bloom..

Hope.yes I do hope for the old time returns back..people tell me to just go on and find another one,but hey..I am happy for myself for not doing so,because the reason is that I know all this while I love her so much and with my full heart..thats why even after being torn this bad.. my heart & myself remains here..

Istiqamah = Tetap,teguh,tidak berganjak

Istiqamah is the word that I holld onto..seeing the meaning makes me strong even though at times when there were I'll remain me,the only thing that stops me from doing this..is she marrying another person,because at that time its between her and that man..I can no longer interfere..I dont want to hurt their happiness though its bleak..I'll just runaway and never comeback..ONLY if the one that I fears most happens..then I wont stop hoping and staying as I am now...prove me wrong my dear and show the true colours of yours.

When people ask me what happened between me n her..to tell all the truth,up until this very second..I never knew why she did that? Seriously I have no idea..If I knew..i'll never be as I am now..she never tells me why,all she did was to pull the trigger...and left me numb wondering all alone..hmm

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